So we finally come to an end with the guest post series "Approaching Midlife". I wanted to save this one until last because I felt it makes a great concluding piece on all the things that were discussed and shared in the previous three guest posts. I won't write my own thoughts after this piece; this time I'll let it speak for itself...
The last post is by Meg Wood. She is a wife to a great husband and a mother to two fabulous kids. She is living in the crazy South in the big beautiful Dallas, Texas! When she is not working or blogging she works as a research analyst.
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Lessons learned…
At age forty I feel like I have at least a good fifty years of learning left. I hope I have received the hardest
lessons already. When thinking back over the last twenty years, I would have to say five things stand out
for me.
Choose your life partner carefully. It seems that we are in a time where relationships are disposable and
we enter into them with the understanding that we can replace that person if someday they don’t fit
our needs. Research is showing that stability is critical for good development in children and divorce is
damaging to that development. I have learned that my children need a stable environment, I brought
them in to this world and it’s my responsibility to sacrifice for them.
Your carefully chosen life partner is human and will grow and change just like you do. People
change physically, they change their opinions and they change mentally as they learn. This is where
communication comes in; you have to stay in touch with your partners needs as you both grow.
Assuming that they will always be there no matter what is taking advantage of their commitment.
Refusing to listen and acknowledge unhappiness is setting a stage for disaster.
For Better or Worse does not mean for better or not so great. Worse=partner with cancer.
Worse=bankruptcy/failed business. Worse=Depression. Worse=Affair. Worse is subjective and
sometimes not even close to what we would expect. I never expected my husband to have online
affairs, I assumed that he understood that he was married and he loved me just as much as he did on
day one and it would never cross his mind. I was wrong and it was worse.
Don’t go through life numb. The phrase, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, is so true on so
many levels. Our society today is going to great lengths to stay numb to any hint of physical or mental
pain. How do you gauge where you are and how you are if you have no gauge? If your arm is numb
how do you know if it’s broken or if it’s perfectly fine? Life experiences, bad, good, not so good, all
contribute to your wisdom and growth. There are traumas and experiences that people need help
getting through. The key here is getting through, not staying numb because of. You come out stronger
on the other side. In 2005 there were approximately 27 million people in the US on anti-depressant’s,
that’s staggering. That’s a numb society that is losing the benefit of life experience.
Love every day, it might be your last. You have an expiration date no matter how young you are. The
only thing you truly leave is your memory and how you impacted other people’s lives. If I learned
anything from my husband’s affairs it was just how simple it is to choose in some small way every day
to keep that supply of love flowing to the people that need it from you and never assume that they just
know because they should. Tell them, show them and live it.
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